You've heard the old statement that hospitals don't give out manuals when you have a baby. You have your baby, you get a day or two to rest then they send you home with your child to learn it all for yourself. Good and bad, you learn by experience all on your own. There's no way that anyone could make a parenting manual that would be accurate all the time because every child is an individual. I have 3 kids and if I was issued the same manual each time I gave birth, I would be a wreck not to mention confused most the time. They are all COMPLETELY different people. Right from birth, each had their own personality, needs, wants and way to convey it all. No manual could cover it for all people.
What I did receive all three times is a diaper bag from some company pimping out their formula that includes a bag, some kind of blanket, formula samples and maybe a t-shirt or something. None of it is really used by me except the blankets that the girls have used for their baby dolls. I'd love to see the hospitals give out something useful for once. How about a pair of kevlar panties?
Don't you think those would be 100% useful? Anyone who is a parent knows there are ups and downs to parenting on a daily basis. The little moments where you hear your child tell you they love you for the first time, when something sad happens in life and they come over to comfort you, they score a goal in their soccer game, just to name a few, are those moments that make being a parent an amazing experience. But what about those other moments? The non-warm fuzzy moments. I had one of those this morning.
Both of my girls left for church camp this morning. They'll be gone all week at a camp in the Santa Cruz mountains. We spent a good portion of the day yesterday packing and getting them all dialed in for the trip. They both were excited to be going but I would be foolish to say the excitement was distributed equally between them.
We went shopping yesterday in the late afternoon so we could spend some extra time with the girls before they left. Tiny had complained of a stomach ache for a good majority of the day. I knew it was nerves because it only seemed to flair up when the fact that the D-Day was closing in quickly. (D-Day being Departure Day.) So this morning, we had to be at the church at 7 AM. Yes, 7 AM, bright eyed and bushy tailed - ready to go. We pull up the the church, I put the car in park and from behind, I feel little arms thrown around my neck and sobs with tears warmly running down my neck.
Through the sobs, my little Tiny says, "I'm going to miss you so much, Mom." OK, rip my guts out right now and stamp my heart on the concrete. My baby girl is already missing me. And I will freely admit that I was getting very misty yesterday putting the girls' clothes in their suitcases so I was already emotional about it. I was missing them already too. Anyway, I get out of the car and go to her passenger door, open it up and she flops into my arms and continues to cry. I had to hold back my own tears and tell her she'd be fine, she'll have a wonderful time, and all her friends were waiting for her to spend the week with them. She perked up enough to get out of the car and roll her suitcase that truly is bigger than she is, over to the bus to be loaded up. Let's note here that Chachi had already run off to the bus where her buddies were waiting for her to jump up and down and celebrate the pending departure from parents and all rules except the basic rules of common sense.
We went on board the bus for Tiny to pick out her seat and get her travel bag settled in. Then it was time for Boops and I to leave the girls for their new adventures. I load up the baby, start the car and pull out of the parking lot. At that moment, I realize this would be the perfect time for a pair of kevlar panties. One of my favorite phrases is "put on your big girl panties and deal with it." What if those panties were kelvar? Don't you think those big girl panties could protect you from so much more as a parent? They could shield you from those times in life when you think you've taken all you can handle. Maybe a kevlar holster for your heart would be more useful. All I know is anything made out of kevlar can't be bad.
It was tough for me today - I had to give up a little bit more of my children's dependance and let them forge onto more independence. I know when they get home, they won't be the same kids that left me this morning. They'll be the same in many ways but they will have spread their wings away from the safety of the nest. They will have grown as individuals. I love that they have these experiences but it also pains my heart just a little knowing they need me that much less and we are that much closer to them making their own way in this huge and sometime scary world.
If anyone knows me at all, they know I am all about independence and doing things my own way. It's important to me to teach my kids how to be independent and I WANT them to be able to take on anything this life throws at them. But as a mom, I wish the moments when they are little and need us so much lasted just a little bit longer.
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