It's over as soon as it began

If you had asked me before yesterday morning, I would have told you I was ready for my kids to go back to school. That I was looking forward to being back into the routine and getting the kids apart some so they aren't fighting all the time. I would have said something about the freedom to get some cleaning done around the house without playing referee all day. Being able to work and make phone calls uninterrupted. But then it hit me like a ton of bricks pressing on my chest and my tear ducts. This is Chachi's last summer as an elementary school kid.

I never thought of it like that before, being her last summer of "innocence." Her last summer of being little, in my eyes at least. Next summer is going to be different. She'll be preparing for middle school. That's a whole other beast in itself. But the distinction that lies between elementary school and middle school is huge. Like a chasm that separates the child from the tween. Next year, she'll be moving classes and having brunch AND lunch periods. I guess we all want our kids to grow up and stay little all at the same time but right now, the desire for her to stay little is overwhelming. 

With all that said about Chachi, I was also having the realization that Tiny will be in 3rd grade. That's the big time at their school. They move from the lower grade playground to the playground where 3rd - 5th graders play and it doesn't sound uber cool to someone who doesn't attend their school but 3rd grade also means they can play on Blue Heaven. Blue Heaven is a play structure for the upper grades ONLY and it is a big deal to those 3rd graders. To me, it's one more step to Tiny going on to the same fate as her sister, middle school. 

Last night at Tiny's soccer practice, another mom of a 5th grader at the kid's school and I were chatting about how we both are feeling this tug at our hearts and she says, "At least you have the baby still at home so it shouldn't be as hard as it will be for the rest of us who don't have any little ones at home." I thought about that comment for quite some time last night after we left practice. At first I thought, it was true, I do have one more child to go through their elementary school and I can look forward to doing all these experiences again. Then, a flood of memories came rushing back to my mind about when Chachi was small and I thought she'd be little forever and how her even being in 5th grade seemed like a lifetime away. And now it's here. 

The next thought was Boops will be in 5th grade before we know it. That is a sad thought to me. I am enjoying him being small so much. Much more than I think I enjoyed it with either of the girls because I didn't realize with them how fast it would go by. In my mind, I felt like they would stay small longer but as all parents know, they are born then they're 10 years old and in the 5th grade in the blink of an eye. Since I am getting all misty again, I will end my pity party but I hope you enjoy pictures of our camping trip in Lake Tahoe last weekend.