Are there ever times when you are speechless then other times you just have too much too say? Too much too say and not enough will power to realize you shouldn't say anything at all? Yesterday was one of those days for me.
As you know, my girls play soccer. They are good at soccer. Which makes me expect a great deal from them, especially Chachi. I really push her hard. Harder than I should, I think. At her game yesterday, she was lagging. She has had a vicious cold all week and has been feeling like garbage the whole time. I should have cut her some slack, should have, but I didn't. I was riding her like a cowboy rides a bucking bronco - spurring her the entire first half. Watching her miss opportunities to make some plays really was frustrating me and instead of saying, "Hey there self, maybe she doesn't feel 100% so she doesn't have 100% to give," noooooo, I have to get down the field and holler at her and make her feel worse about her performance. After yesterday, I am a shoe in for the Mother of the Year award.
I know good and well that I personally haven't been giving my 100% this week around the house. It looks like an atomic bomb went off and left havoc and chaos in trails all through the house. I too had this cold and I didn't feel like making the effort I should have so I didn't. I expected my husband to show me some grace and not ride me about what I wasn't doing because I didn't feel good. But I wasn't able to extend that same olive branch of grace to my child who wasn't shirking responsibility but playing a GAME of soccer, for enjoyment no less. As I sit here, I realize that I need to internalize that fact that we put her into soccer for her enjoyment, not ours. Even though it gives me extreme pleasure, enjoyment, pride and excitement to watch her, we do it for her, not for ourselves.
The next step is obvious, I need to apologize to her after school and let her know that I was in the wrong. I shouldn't have said anything to her during the game. That's why she has a coach, to tell her what to do, and by me sitting on the sidelines and snapping at her doesn't help her game or her self esteem. She wasn't letting me down, and I need to tell her that. Yep, Mother of the Year... that's me. (insert eye roll here.)
3 comments:
Good job for recognizing the role you played in that and admitting to it! Good job Mom~
Isn't it amazing how worked up we can get over our kids games. They just want to have fun and we make it all serious. Your a good mom and I bet your girls let you know that all the time. Oh and at least you didn't forget their birthday like I did my son. I think my name has been entered into the "Bad Mom of the Year" hall of fame. :)
Don't be hard on yourself. My son's soccer coach "used" parent input from the sidelines in hardening up the players. "During the games, you only act when you hear your coaches," he said. It was hard for the kids to tune out their own parents. But through the years they learned to do just that. They also became conditioned to ignore their opponents' jeers, their teammates, traffic, all noise and distractions, everything but the coaches. Then they were warriors!
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